What they call normal

Mom's funeral was on Friday, and now I'm back home. Strangely enough, I feel like a guest in my own house, not quite comfortable with spreading out my stuff and pouring the last of the milk in my coffee. I told Andy to enjoy the relative order of things, because I don't think it will last long.
Leaving my dad was hard, but after we cluttered around the house in shock and awe for the past week or so, it was time to go through the motions of making things normal again. Right.

I'm knitting, and I've got quite a few pictures lined up, but I'm not quite up to being THAT normal just yet. All in due course.


Dirge Without Music

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,--but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, --
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave,
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

After nine years of battle ...

Mom

April 5, 1947 - October 20, 2006

I wanted you to see something about her –

I wanted you to see what real courage is,

instead of getting the idea that courage

is a man with a gun in his hand.

It's when you know you're licked before you begin,

but you begin anyway

and you see it through no matter what. […]

She was the bravest person I ever knew.

Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird

It's that secret time of the year again

Whoops, how did it get to be October 14 already???

I must say it's about TIME to get my Secret Pal 9 questionnaire up. At least I did try to put up a button. See sidebar for lack of success.

So, here goes ...

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?

And again, if it's soft and pretty, I love it. Since the last exchange, I also learned that it's not the wool I can't wear next to my skin, but the utterly-wonderful-totally-non-allergic wool wash I used. Live and learn.

2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?

I've got a set of Denises, so that's storage right there. Otherwise, I've got a tall glass (the plain drinking variety) for my straights, and I keep my hooks in my "notions bag". My non-Denise circulars ... uh, well, they are sort of in my knitting bag.

3. How long have you been knitting & how did you learn? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced.

My grandma taught me to knit and crochet when I was about five. So that's 30 years of yarn stuff right there, although there were periods where I did so little knitting that I almost reached muggle status. I'd say my skill level is intermediate with a sense of adventure. I'll try anything once :o).

4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

Not really.

5. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products, etc.)

Fresh stuff - citrus, green tea, cucumber, melon ... that sort of thing.

6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?

I've got about 30 of them. My favourite candy is anything that has chocolate and peanutbutter.

7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Do you spin?

I do some bead work, and I like paper crafts and sewing (but don't do any of that right now). I'm all set to try dyeing yarn, and I would LOVE to learn how to spin.

8. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I'm so not in the loop where music is concerned. But I like all kinds of music, except the really, really heavy metal and songs where people recommend to kill or rape other people. And it's yes on the MP3 thing.

9. What's your favorite color(s)? Any colors you just can't stand?

Deep, rich reds, all blues and greens. I'm a denim kind of girl. I don't wear white much. And I have yet to find a shade of yellow I like.

10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

No kids, no pets, not married, not single :o).

11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?

Yes to all, except for the evil poncho ;o). Yeah, I read the Manolo.

12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?

Shawls - hands down. Then socks. And cardigans. And BAGS!!!

13. What are you knitting right now?

I'm almost done with the ostrich plume shawl in Sea Silk. And I've started the Magical Earth Shawl from A Gathering Of Lace. Other than that, I need about 20 cm on my Everyday Tweed. All in good time.

14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?

Of course!

15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?

Circulars (for socks, too). As for the material, whatever works, really, but I love the Denises, so that's plastic I suppose.

16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?

Yes to both, thanks to ebay and Alison, my SP8 :o).

17. How old is your oldest UFO?

About 8 months. Sigh. It's Chocolate Covered Cherry from BGK. I can't wait to wear it, but for some reason I never pick it up :o(.

18. What is your favorite holiday?

Christmas.

19. Is there anything that you collect?

Dust? ;o) I sort of collect giraffes and armadillos. And sheep by default - it's what knitters get from muggles. Sheep stuff. Luckily, I really like them.

20. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

Well, duh, ALL the books, yarns, needles and patterns, just like any red-blooded knitter :o). Okay, seriously, I'm always game to try a laceweight I've never met. Sock yarn. Lace patterns. No, I really think the first answer is correct.

I subscribe to Interweave Knitting.

21. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?

Spinning and dyeing, see above. Other than that, I'm about to try socks with the magic cast on.

22. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements?

Yep. Size 11, don't knit me socks. Nobody should make that sacrifice ;o).

23. When is your birthday? (mm/dd)

November 4. I'm going to be 36.

Now I'll leave you with a picture of true soul knitting. Lace scarf, Lang Mohair Luxe (kidsilk haze, only softer and cheaper), Swarovski beads and rosewood needles. Heaven.

All we need is a racoon hat

It’s a bit like being a medic at the Alamo. The battle is lost, but you still patch Davy Crockett back together, so he can go fight another round.

A few days ago, I reserved a nice, warm spot in Hell for myself.
It was a bad day, one of those which much shrieking in pain and very little relief. When the bell rang, I sprinted to the door thinking it might be the doctor or the delivery person from the pharmacy. But nay. At the door were two elderly, smiling ladies in nice and proper dark pleated skirts and cardigans. One of them proffered a thin, psychedelic, sort of familiar looking magazine and inquired, “Have you thought about the Creator lately?”
She flinched a little when my mom gave a particularly loud cry for help just then - she needed someone to take the car off her legs (don't ask).
I just stood there, speechless, for a moment, while my entire spotty relationship with organized religion in general and in particular the theory of the Lord making you suffer if He loves you very much flashed before my eyes. And then I did a horrible thing. I started to laugh. Quite hysterically, I’m afraid. I tried to say something polite or witty or … well, I basically tried to say something, but all the guffawing made it impossible. Finally, I just closed the door, wiping my eyes.
Dear Jehowa’s Witnesses, I can’t say that I particularly like you, but I would have liked to decline politely instead of laughing like a hyena. I know you are very serious about your faith and truly want the best for my soul, even if you do think that the best way to convert people is to bother them by surprise, which is a tad risqué as strategies go. I shouldn't have laughed. Sorry.

So, I think I said there would be FO pictures.

Ages ago, knitcrazy asked about the Garnstudio cardigan. So here it is at long last:

I used 13 balls of Lang Twin (cotton, very splitty, but lovely), and my only real pattern modification was in the sleeve ribbing, where I cast on more stitches to decrease the purl ribs for a bit of flare flair. Other than that I left out the crochet border. I love Garnstudio patterns (I think I've mentioned), and this cardigan knit up like a dream and fits well.

Alors, Clapotis.Done in Lang Silk Dream (9 balls) - and yes, I know that there is one undropped stitch in this picture. It's dropped now :o). I didn't even have time to weave in the ends and block it, because my mom claimed it right away. You know, I've asked her many, many times what I should knit for her, and she never wanted anything. The, a few weeks ago, when she got cold and needed something to put on her shoulders, I found out that she doesn't have a single shawl. Well, she has one now, I only wish she would part with it long enough for me to do the ends. Not happening, this must be one of the world's best-loved shawls. I'm happy.

Pulbic service announcement: Do not make up a sweater as you go along, if you are under extreme emotional stress. Let this be a warning:

I don't know what I was thinking, but I do know what I thought when I frogged that thing. I just can't repeat it in gentile company.

Other than that, I'm almost through with Cinxia. Bad judgement on my part, I'm too tall and ... uh ... top-heavy for this lovely design, but I'm trying to come up with a save.

Now on the needles: Everyday Tweed from The Garter Belt. Go look at their stuff, it's great!

Unfortunately, Everyday Tweed is also acres of stockinette in the round, so I'm thinking of starting a "break knit". Something shawlish perhaps?