Andy's mom arrived last night. Seeing her here for Christmas was harder than I thought. There should be someone next to her on the good sofa. A quiet man with twinkling eyes, who will tell childhood stories after a glass of punch, and who will come back from church with his wife and son tonight to look at the lit tree, the artfully (right!) arranged gifts and the table with the Christmas fare, clap his hands together and exclaim invariably that this should really be photographed for one of those home magazines - no matter how much of a slapdash rush job I've had to do on it. He should be here.
In a little bit, I'm going to call my dad. He is not going to be here either. He will spend Christmas Eve helping out at a homeless shelter. I understand him - better than he knows, actually - because I did the same thing that first Christmas Eve after my ex-husband and I separated. I'm not comparing the events (that divorce was a blessing in disguise), but I understand the impulse to be alone, to not have to play along with family Christmas conventions, to reach out to people who most definitely have a shittier deal than you have. I get it, but it's still hard. And I'm not even going to talk about Mom. Nope, not touching that. At all.
Sorry to be so maudlin today, but I promised myself that I will take quiet moments if I need them this Christmas. This is one of those. And I don't want you to think that it's all sad and gloomy here. On the contrary, Andy's literally un-adult-erated Christmas joy is contagious. You simply cannot be a Grinch around the man, he just loves Christmas too much. So, merry we will make, and - if pressed - a-wassailing we will go, even though I only have the sketchiest of ideas what that might entail.
Since all the cool kids are doing the YouTube thing, I want to share with you my favourite carol ever.
Still dry-eyed? Well, you are way stronger than I am then :o).
I think the seasonal sentiments are best expressed in this find from www.engrish.com. Come on, people, BE THE HOLIDAY!
Knitters and muggles out there, whatever you are celebrating this season, I wish you the best holiday ever. And if yours is over already, I wish you the best Sunday and Monday ever. Enjoy the lights in the windows and on the streets all the same - the way I understand Christmas they are shining for everybody.
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