I'm still torn how much of the sad stuff I want to put into this blog. It's about hooks and needles after all. I'm sure caregivers of terminal cancer patients have their own webrings. So I could blog about it all and join one of those communities, only I don't want to do that. I want my blog to be a place that is not all about the tragedy, I need it to be a place that is about the things that help me stay reasonably sane.
There are two things. Writing and yarn stuff - and I can't really blog about the writing, because ... uh ... what would I say? Had coffee while killing an obnoxious reporter totally dead with a shotgun? Now, that might be sorta entertaining, but waaaay too meta. Yeah. Meta is when the cool blog kids talk about blogging. On their blogs. Learned that. But in my opinion, a writer who talks about writing too much and in too much detail is not being meta, but foolish. Stop telling people how you are going to write the novel and how cool it's going to be and what great things will happen, just, you know, do it. Learned that, too. From my mistakes.
Which leaves me with the yarn stuff. Good thing, that, because I love all things yarn (really, I'm hoping I'll be done ranting soon, so I can show you Waterlily and my new felt swatch). Not a good thing, because for me the subject doesn't exactly lend itself naturally to tragedies bigger than not getting gauge. It will have to do though.
For the past two years and a bit, the fact that my mother is losing her decade-long battle with cancer has soaked through all layers of my life. And only now, in what her doctor solemnly calls "the last stages", the changes become apparent. Apart from the daily sadness and fear of yet another new way of suffering she may have to go through, I dare anyone to be plunged into the matters of fate, faith, mortality and the meaning of life and emerge unchanged. Doesn't happen. I know that underneath all the things I do, all the things I am every day, something else is emerging. Changes happen. I guess it's a little like test-driving a new car (talking out of my butt here, since I do not know how to operate an automobile), everything is sort of in its place, but it handles differently.
So far, this test-drive of the new me turns out to be a rather bumpy ride. We'll see where it takes me. And what it does with this blog.
Right now, all I know is that by tomorrow afternoon I will sit by my mom's bed in the living room. I'll show her what I've knitted this week and what I've cast on. She'll probably have cut out some magazine picture of a gorgeous model in an expensive handknit sweater, and she will tell me - with the loving blindness that is reserved for mothers - that this would look much prettier on me if I made it. Then it will be 3 p.m. and we will watch McLeod's Daughters and ... that other thing ... with Amy the judge and Tyne Daly ("Detective Lacey" to my mom). I'll knit and lose count, either of the stitches or the plot of the show, Mom will fill me in on whatever I'm missing. And we'll both collect another two hours of happiness. That's something.
Now with the knitting.
I may have found new cheap yarn for felting. Told you, it's not that easy here. What I can get is the handspun, hand-dyed wool of sheep with royal lineage. I may be enamoured with felting, but that seems like a waste.
This is Schoeller & Stahl Wonderwool, 51% wool, 49% acrylic, after a hurried, half-assed attempt at hand-felting (as in: I kinda kneaded it a few minutes in a bowl of hot water with the wrong kind of soap). The colour bled a little, but overall I think it has promise. Not too fond of the seed stitch felt, but that might change with proper felting.For the bag I have in mind, I'll have to use double strands and smaller needles, I think, but I was amazed that it would felt at all, what with being half plastic and all. (Love the plastic, have I mentioned?)
Last week, on a whim, I bought two skeins of Schachenmayr Brazilia Fantasy Color in 392 ("Diana", I think), just because I liked the colourway. I've never worked with eyelash yarn, so I decided to start something simple to try it and to swatch some of my "WolleTempel" yarn as well (I do love it, but it comes without any information about yardage or anything). So, here's the Goof-Off Scawl.
On the non-eyelash parts, I'm doing a 2x1 rib, which gives it some shape and makes the eyelash parts look fluffier when it's not stretched out. The width is 15 inches, which is right between a scarf and a shawl for me. Planned length: until the eyelash yarn runs out (I have three skeins now, and the first is almost finished). This is as much "novelty" as I've ever done, but I like it. It's fun and light and fluffy. And SOFT!The blue regular yarn stripe is smaller than the brown, because the yarn has a lurex thread in it. Since I'm planning on wearing it as a shawl, too, I don't want too much lurex on my skin.
The Waterlily, she is finished. And I have no idea what happened. I swatched. I washed. I swatched again. I calculated. I swatched in the round. I calculated. I knit. I measured. It's too small. Where did I go wrong? I have no idea. All I can say is that the whole Weight Watchers shebang better keep working, because I want to wear that thing.
The yarn is WolleTempel again. Pink on Olive. Much prettier in person. I haven't seamed or blocked it yet. When I realized that it would be too small, I wanted to stay away from blocking until I had calmed down enough to not try and stretch the crap out of it. I'll finish it when I return.Hey, I still have enough yarn left over to do another, bigger one. I'm tempted, but while the top is really pretty, I'm not too much in love with the pattern. So, I left the Pink on Olive alone and cast on for Mariposa by Sarah Sumner-Eisenbraun (Knitty, gotta love the Knitty) in "Poppies in a Wheat Field". I'll post a picture when I have more than a couple of inches, because it doesn't show off the pretty colours yet.
Also, scary acts of mutilation have been perpetrated in this innocent household.
These are the remnants of a pair of old canvas Mary Janes (excuse the icky-looking parts, it's glue from the old lining).
I'm not quite sure what to do yet. But I know this. I adore shoes and handbags (and jewellery, but that would be a beadwork topic). I can already make handbags. Now, we'll see about the rest.
That's it for now. I'm off to pack and catch a train.
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